Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I have decided...

that is is completely unfair for mothers to get sick. For the last two weeks I have been flat on my back, more ill that I have ever been in my entire life! My husband had to take three days off of work to help with the kids as I lay delirious in my disgusting state. At one point I actually thought I was going to die, for real. I was convinced that I wouldn't make it through the night! As I lay in my bed silence, (except for the hum of the humidifier) a hot, feverish tear streaked down my face and I tried to take everything in around me because I thought I would never see it again. I tried to remember the last contact I had with my children earlier that day and was horribly disappointed when I realized that the last encounter with my two sweet babies was me moaning in pain and waving them out of the room. This was one of the most horrific experiences I have had thus far in my 27 years. And I swear to you it was never ending! Every morning I would wake up thinking, "Okay, this has got to be the day I start feeling better!" but no such luck. Two weeks of greasy hair and ill fitting pajamas, hobbling around the house with a blanket like Linus from Charlie Brown. We are kindred spirits, that blanket and I. We understand each other after being inseparable for two weeks straight. We have napped together, cried together, and watched Saved By the Bell in secret together. The one thing we didn't to was laugh together. Oh no, there was no laughter to be heard in this house! At one point my tonsils (which are already ridiculously large by nature, ask Carrie, she will vouch for me) touched and were rubbing together as I rocked back and forth in such severe pain that I am willing to compare it to child birth. No bueno I tell you, no bueno!

So now I am feeling better. I only cringe mildly when I have to swallow at this point. I think that the most frustrating part of it is that all I got out of this hideous experience is a messy house. There is no sweet baby at the end. My eye sight is not better. My boobs are not bigger. I'm not even thinner, which you think I would be after eating nothing but Tylenol and juice for two weeks straight, but no. No good has come from this illness. Only the feeling that I am incredibly behind in every aspect of my life. Don't I do enough as a full time wife and mother that I should be exempt from getting so ill? Don't I change enough dirty diapers? Wipe enough snotty noses? Fold enough laundry? Wash enough dishes? Does this all count for nothing? Apparently so. I suppose I am bitter at the strep throat gods. They are a vicious crew and all I can do is warn you not to cross their path because they will take you down my friend! They take no prisoners! I wish you all the best of luck through the remainder of this wicked flu season that is upon us. Hide your little ones! Lock your doors! And for heaven sake, don't share your cup with ANYONE!

Peace out.