Thursday, January 29, 2009

Children for sale!

Two top of the line, house broken, brown eyed children for sale!!

You will love the way the girl silently finds your hidden scissor stash and cuts six inches off the front of her hair while you are busy signing a contract with a bride in the next room! And if you are lucky, the boy will sneak upstairs in the exact same moment and dump all of your brand new $28 a bottle color stay makeup all over the carpet, counter, his hair, and clothes! Complete ruining of mascara and lipstick also included! You will LOVE attempting to bathe him after the makeup fiasco without submerging his head in water due to the fact that just days earlier, the girl punctured his eardrum with a pencil while playing doctor! Please note that this incident involved the boy screaming and writhing in pain, a bleeding ear, and an emergency trip to the doctor! For optimum fun, it is recommended that these charades be attempted when carrying an eight and a half month fetus in your uterus! You simply MUST have these two BUSY little children! And stay tuned! There is a good chance that if the fetus makes his big appearance and follows suit, you will have a chance at child number three! Going fast! Grab one before they are going, going, gone!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Horrible person or tired pregnant woman?

For Christmas Rob bought me this awesome vacuum. It's small and cordless for when you want to grab it quickly and vacuum up a few crumbs. The handle has the ability to extend but... if you choose NOT to extend it, it is just the right size for a small child to use. We also bought Henry a little "Dirty Devil" vacuum toy that is the same size and color as the real vacuum. (I know a vacuum is an odd present for a two year old boy, but he is obsessed with vacuuming. Such a domestic little man) So basically when Henry is "vacuuming" I get out the real vacuum and let Maggie loose. That's right. My four year old daughter has turned into a tiny vacuuming slave. She loves it! She goes totally nuts and vacuums up every last crumb! She asks me all day when she can vacuum next. BUT I FEEL HORRIBLY GUILTY! MY CHILD IS CLEANING MY HOUSE FOR ME AT THE TENDER AGE OF FOUR! At first I thought it was hysterical, but now I feel as though I have tricked her or something. So I ask for your opinion: Horrible person or tired pregnant woman. Honesty please.