Two top of the line, house broken, brown eyed children for sale!!
You will love the way the girl silently finds your hidden scissor stash and cuts six inches off the front of her hair while you are busy signing a contract with a bride in the next room! And if you are lucky, the boy will sneak upstairs in the exact same moment and dump all of your brand new $28 a bottle color stay makeup all over the carpet, counter, his hair, and clothes! Complete ruining of mascara and lipstick also included! You will LOVE attempting to bathe him after the makeup fiasco without submerging his head in water due to the fact that just days earlier, the girl punctured his eardrum with a pencil while playing doctor! Please note that this incident involved the boy screaming and writhing in pain, a bleeding ear, and an emergency trip to the doctor! For optimum fun, it is recommended that these charades be attempted when carrying an eight and a half month fetus in your uterus! You simply MUST have these two BUSY little children! And stay tuned! There is a good chance that if the fetus makes his big appearance and follows suit, you will have a chance at child number three! Going fast! Grab one before they are going, going, gone!!
You will love the way the girl silently finds your hidden scissor stash and cuts six inches off the front of her hair while you are busy signing a contract with a bride in the next room! And if you are lucky, the boy will sneak upstairs in the exact same moment and dump all of your brand new $28 a bottle color stay makeup all over the carpet, counter, his hair, and clothes! Complete ruining of mascara and lipstick also included! You will LOVE attempting to bathe him after the makeup fiasco without submerging his head in water due to the fact that just days earlier, the girl punctured his eardrum with a pencil while playing doctor! Please note that this incident involved the boy screaming and writhing in pain, a bleeding ear, and an emergency trip to the doctor! For optimum fun, it is recommended that these charades be attempted when carrying an eight and a half month fetus in your uterus! You simply MUST have these two BUSY little children! And stay tuned! There is a good chance that if the fetus makes his big appearance and follows suit, you will have a chance at child number three! Going fast! Grab one before they are going, going, gone!!
15 comments:
LOVE IT! That was hilarious Lill! I must say, the hair cutting and ear-drum puncturing are things we've managed to avoid...although, the makeup incidents are notoriously popular!
I can laugh my head off about this now...'cause...been there, done that and I survived!! And you will too :) I'd take 'em in a heartbeat!! But where are the pictures of the hair cut? I love you all!
Wow, I have had some crazy days but that sounds like a whopper.
Oh Lilly!! i feel for you girl!! I'm sorry that you're having a 'fun' go of it! Congrats on #3 though! that will be fun! and honestly - adding another to that mix ... it will be simple! i did the same and then #4 - it's all just a blur! but you will one day look back on this and be happy that you wrote this all down - it will be great for a laugh!!
I'll be waiting for Maggie's haircut pictures. It sounds like things are running on full steam only you are running out of steam, but who can fault an 8 1/2 month pregnant lady? We can't wait to meet the latest McDowell Boy!
Dear dear why did I want another one...I just picture Scarlet and her new baby sister giggling in their room, playing dress ups and tickling each other. Thanks for the reality check. PS it took me a minute to figure out when we were hanging out smelling each others feet...how could I forget...we should really plan a game night sooooon
Oh Lilly! You make me feel so normal, like I'm not the only one! Thank you!
Poor Henry's ear. That sounds painful. You're so funny.
Hhhmmm.... do they come as a set? Or are you willing to split them up? And what do they think of Winter? I'm talking -40 degrees, lasts for most of the year, every year you why the heck you haven't moved south yet, kind of winter?
It's been getting a little lonely up here in Canada. Sure my roommates are cool n' all, but they just don't provide the kind of excitement, or stories, that you get with children under 5 years old. I'll have to consult the ol' bank account, maybe we can work something out.
(I hope the ear is doing better)
I am tempted to send this post to Ellen Degenerous. I definitley think it's television worthy. You're hilarious Lilly. You're also getting me really excited for two kids:-}
First facebook, now i get to stalk you on your blog. You are funny and your kids are gorgeous. Congrats on number three...let me know how it goes. We have one on the way in May...
Haha I don't think they allow kids at my apartment or I might take one for you. I found your blog mine is at http://dcmcd264.blogspot.com/
David
Oh Lilly! Just stalked your facebook profile and found your blog and this entry has me peeing my pants. I also am selling one of my twins the one that bites me 3 times per feeding.
Looks like I'm going to be reading this blog for the next hour.
God speed.
Congratulations on Finley's arrival! Do a post so I can do a blog makeover!!
Hope you're doing well and love you!
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